Tears of a Volunteer – Episode 2

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In October 2020, she applied for yet another job (an internship to be specific) for like the 10,000th time. Previously, she had sent many applications and none had borne any fruits. The Kenyan economy was collapsing, companies were downsizing and others were laying off employees. The Covid 19 pandemic had made it so hard to get a job. Being hired was like winning a lottery ticket. People were being urged to “stay home” and “sanitize”.

At the home of elderly ,where she was volunteering, not much would be done. Would they close and go home like schools had done? Which home? These are people who had been deserted and others were just here because that was their only home. If Corona would hit this home, they wouldn’t have much of a chance to survive. There wasn’t enough funds to buy masks…Besides, old people are known to be generally stubborn and they didn’t want to follow the “stupid” rules of social distancing. In fact, some of them were secretly wishing they would get that Corona and die. They were tired of feeling rejected and abandoned. Covid wasn’t that much of an issue to them. But then again, there were people like Ciku who had a whole life ahead of them. They were secretly worried about their lives . Yet they couldn’t leave the center..

She had just completed the daunting process of applying for an internship with the UN.

After she pressed “Send”, she started reflecting about her days in college. She thought about her mother telling her to work hard in school to be successful. She had studied her undergraduate and postgraduate degrees and passed with distinction yet she was here without options. Education was no longer a factor in determining who would become successful.

She had always been principled. Right after she graduated from college, she landed an internship at one of the major multinational companies in Nairobi where she shadowed the managing director. Working in such a consulting firm had been her dream and so was her friends. She worked hard hoping to land a permanent job there immediately after college. Her friends were envious of her.

Being an intern and shadowing the Managing Director meant that she got a lot of privileges. Such included travelling to different countries, being featured in the company magazines and even getting the feel of the big table. As such, she would take some nice selfies and post on her Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, name them…she was having a great time. Well, that had been such a lovely period..

Back at home, villagers being villagers would hold “meetings” to discuss how “their” daughter was making it in Nairobi. They were seeing her photos. They were happy for her. Or were they? Well, for the three months she interned there, she would receive calls from random uncles and aunties giving stories of how they needed to see the doctor because of a certain knee that was not functioning properly.

Around that time, Ciku made several enemies because let’s face it, she couldn’t help anybody. She was a mere intern and she wasn’t earning anything. Unfortunately, her folks didn’t know the difference between an internship and a job- especially an unpaid internship. Ciku’s internship was unpaid.

Before we continue with Ciku’s reflections, let’s first define an internship. According to a Google search I just performed , an internship is defined as the position of a student or trainee who works in an organization, sometimes without pay, in order to gain work experience or satisfy requirements for a qualification. Did you see the part of “sometimes without pay”? Well that’s what is called Unpaid Internship. And those ones are very common. Ciku was doing one of those. But according to people out there, she was working and rolling in millions. She was just being tight fisted and stingy.

Funny thing is, when you get employed, somehow your money becomes the community’s money. When you are in school and struggling with fees or pocket money, that is your mother’s or father’s responsibility. Ciku had a tough time. She started considering posting her pictures less. Her colleagues at work encouraged her to keep posting pictures because after all, she is photogenic and well, her smile could be someone’s medicine.

In year 2016, right before she completed her 3 months internship, she broke up with her boyfriend. The dude complained that ever since she took the job, she had no time for him. He was jealous that she was always taking trips to Europe with her boss. This guy started being super jealous and insecure to the point that he started accusing her of sleeping with her boss. Did I mention that Ciku is a principled lady? Ciku went into a period of doubt. She started hating her job. She started showing up to work late. She posted less pictures online and she hated the very thought of having to go to work. She started loathing the very idea of internships. Why should a grown woman with a such educational qualifications do all that work and only be paid with “exposure”? What kind of nonsense is that? Why is the world so unfair? She would wonder.

Truth is, she had grown fond of her boss. He never said many words. So long as Ciku completed her reports before the deadline, there would be no argument. She loved her work already but the pressure out there from people close to her was too much. She didn’t have anyone to talk to. People at work were starting to hate her because they felt she was being favored by the boss. They would see her come late for work and not be scolded as the rest of them. They started talking behind her back and saying that she was sleeping with her boss. Just like her crazy ex, they couldn’t be more wrong. Ciku was not the kind to go around sleeping with just anything that had beards or held big MD titles. Ultimately, she couldn’t handle all that stress. She quit before her internship was over.

She had gone back to college where she had graduated with honors. She still thought about her ex boyfriend. They never got to have closure. He had suspected her of cheating, she had got really mad and had ended things with him. He had moved on with that ugly freshman. But who was kidding…She had bigger boobs and curves. She knew she wasn’t supposed to compare herself with that bitch but still, some part of her brain couldn’t let go. It’s the funny thing about break-ups. Where you try to form distorted images to convince your brain that the person who came after you is ugly…And it always backfires because you start looking at your insecurities. Did she make a bad decision to let go of Julius? But then again, Julius, despite being so good in bed, was extremely controlling and would never let her speak to any other man. Probably it was for the best. The brain-conviction continued. But she still craved the nights they spent together and sometimes she had thoughts of texting him. She felt as if she was about to lose her mind. It took another thesis paper to forget about him and his new ‘ugly’ bimbo. Immediately after college, she had applied to study a Master’s Degree in UK. And off she had left! Yet after all this time, she still somehow missed Julius.

“You know someday, we will be like them?”

“Who?”

“Look at them…do you sometimes wonder about how it will be like in our 80s?”

Ciku had been reflecting about her miserable life and was about to start crying but Mike had interrupted her train of thought. Apparently he had been standing next to her for like 5 minutes. This was the second month of volunteering for Mike. He was the cleaner on duty that day. He had found her sitting under the tree holding her phone and gazing towards the direction of the elderly people who were basking. He had said hi but she had not responded. Secretly, Mike had a big crash on Ciku.

“Is everything okay, Ciku?” He asked…

**TO BE CONTINUED**

The next episode of Tears of a Volunteer will be up tomorrow. SUBSCRIBE, LEAVE A COMMENT, SHARE.

Written by : Waruks

Disclaimer: While this story is inspired by real experiences of young people, it is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this story are either the product of the writer’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.